Steel Sharpens Steel

I am a workaholic. I never stop creating and planning. With that being said, it's hard for me to find other artists to work with who have the same work ethic as I do. I have had so many ask to work with me, then I look at their social medias and they don't even promote their own music. So my question becomes: Why would I do a song with you when I'll be doing all the work after we put the song out? I have been blessed enough to meet someone, who I've actually known for a long time and we have finally started working on music together. He is pulling me out of my comfort zone, which is something I am long overdue for. I have been working on music alone for so long, I forgot how good it feels to record with someone on a regular basis. My buddy and I laid down the foundation to an amazing song last night and for the first time in a long time I felt "pushed". I felt challenged and that's something that I need from another artist from time to time. Not only does he push me, but his genius matches mine. I'm not trying to sound cocky, but we both have this natural talent and ear for music and we just create so effortlessly. My wife even sat in and added some background vocals to another track of mine we want to remix and add some vocals too. Winnie can sing too, most people don't know this little "fun fact". So here I am, wanting, yearning to step outside of my creative box and do what my heart has been calling me to do. The only real challenge I find in all this is myself. It feels good in a weird way though because I feel like I did when I first started recording with Grip, my mentor. I was unsure in the beginning when we recorded together because I didn't know if he would like my songs or if he would get my imagination. Unbeknownst to me, he had just as much imagination as me, if not more. I remember feeling unsure, lacking volume and energy in my recordings because I was unsure. Here I am again, 11 years later, unsure. Funny, life will show exactly who you are if you pay attention and if you are really bold, you'll do something about it if there is anything that needs to be done. I wanna do something about it. I want to unlock that next level of creativity I know I'm capable of. I want to stop being so scared to just let it out. As much as people applaud me for my originality and my abilities, I still doubt myself when it comes to testing new waters. I suppose that fear is natural, but I wanna shake it. I kind of pride myself on being fearless, at least when it comes to my music, so to feel this feeling again is surreal. I was for sure I had gotten past this kind of thing. Even before performances I don't feel this type of anxiety and self-doubt, yet here I am. I wonder if I'm afraid of my own greatness. Am I afraid of the very thing I say I want? I don't know, but I do know that last night felt good even though I was pushed harder than I've been pushed in almost 8 years. I'm just venting, as an artist, as a woman. I wanted to share these thoughts and feelings before they fade. I'll keep you guys and gals updated on what comes of this new adventure.